For schools, workplaces and associations — on the difference between what you can do and what you are worth
A talk on self-esteem and self-confidence for schools, workplaces and associations — on the difference between what you can do and what you are worth, on the voice in your head, and on why praise is rarely enough.
Around 60 minutes, or a half-day with workshop. The content is tailored to the group. Travel is included within 150 km of Lindesberg; further away, it is stated in the quote before you say yes.
Self-esteem is a word everyone uses and few can explain. It is often confused with self-confidence, and then the advice goes wrong: you try to perform your way to a feeling of being good enough, and wonder why it never arrives.
A talk on self-esteem can easily turn into a pep talk — believe in yourself, you are fine as you are. That feels nice for a while. But for anyone who doesn't believe it, it just becomes one more demand to fail at. I put the emphasis on how it works and on what you can do: telling the two apart, hearing the voice in your head without obeying it, and building something that doesn't collapse at the first setback.
The talk builds on the personal development topic in my range of talks, and on the chapters about validation and about daring to be yourself in my book.
The content
What the talk on self-esteem covers
Two different things
Self-confidence is about what you can do, and it can be trained with evidence. Self-esteem is about what you are worth, and it does not rest securely on getting better at things. That is why someone can be skilled and appreciated and still feel they are not good enough. The difference is explained in detail in the article on self-esteem and self-confidence.
Why praise is not enough
The brain gives more weight to the negative than to the positive, and one nasty comment can stay with you longer than a hundred kind ones. Praise also slides off anyone who doesn't already believe it. I go through how the need for other people's approval works and why it is never satisfied — more in the article on the need for validation.
The voice in your head
"I'm not good enough" and "I'm having the thought that I'm not good enough" are two completely different sentences. The inner critic is not a judge with access to the truth, but a habit. The talk gives ways to hear it without obeying it, and to speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend.
What actually builds it
Acting on what you think matters, in small steps, even when nobody sees it. Doing what you are afraid of in manageable doses, so that self-confidence gets its evidence. And noticing and saying what other people do well — in a way that is specific enough to land.
Format
Two formats, and when to choose which
Talk, around 60 minutes. Normally 45–60 minutes, but it can be shortened to 30 minutes or extended to a half day depending on the setting, with time for questions. Suits staff meetings, in-service days, parents' evenings, association meetings and conference sessions. Gives knowledge and a shared language for something most people have a feeling for but few words about.
Half-day with workshop. A talk plus exercises and conversations in smaller groups. Anyone who wants to can take the self-assessment test on self-esteem and self-confidence beforehand — the answers stay in their own browser and nobody else sees them. Choose this if you want the group to leave with something they have tried for themselves.
The talk can also be given online. If you need something other than these two formats — a shorter session or several sessions on the same day — say so in your enquiry and I will work out a price.
The audience
Who the talk is made for
Schools. Pupils in lower and upper secondary school, with more on comparison and validation on social media. Staff who want to understand what lies behind a pupil who never puts their hand up, or one who is never satisfied. Parents' evenings. The schools page is here.
Workplaces. Staff groups and managers. Here it is more about self-confidence in your professional role, about daring to speak up and take up space in a meeting, and about how to give feedback that people can actually take in.
Associations and sports clubs. Leaders, coaches and members. Performance is a natural part of sport, and that is exactly why the difference between what you achieve and what you are worth is important to have clear.
A speaker on self-esteem who has been on the other side
My name is Mikael Glännström. I have a Master's degree in psychology (Örebro University) and have been giving talks since 2012. I have published the non-fiction book Välmåendecoach — För en ljusare framtid ("The Wellbeing Coach"), which is free to read here on the site. I have also lived with panic disorder and social phobia, and I know what it is like when the fear of other people's eyes decides what you dare to do.
I am not a licensed psychologist, and I would rather say so once too often. The talk gives knowledge and words, not treatment. For anyone who wants to keep working on it one-to-one, there is coaching.
Frequently asked questions about the talk on self-esteem
Is it a motivational talk?
No, not in the sense of a pep talk. The talk explains how self-esteem and self-confidence work and why they are built in different ways, and gives people things to try afterwards.
Anyone who leaves should know what separates the two and have something concrete to do in the coming week — not just have felt good for an hour.
How much does a talk on self-esteem cost?
You receive a quote after a short first call. The price depends on the length, the format and whether you want a workshop.
The quote includes preparation, tailoring to the group, delivery and travel within 150 km of Lindesberg. Further away, travel and, if needed, accommodation are added. How a booking works is described in the article on booking a speaker.
Is the talk suitable for young people?
Yes. For pupils in lower and upper secondary school I spend more time on comparison and validation on social media, and less on working life. The talk can also be given for staff or at a parents' evening.
For schools there is also the dedicated schools page, where several sessions on the same day can be put together.
Can a talk help someone who is really struggling?
No, and it should not claim to. A talk gives knowledge and a language, but it is not treatment. Anyone who is struggling needs to talk to their local health centre (vårdcentral), the school's student health team, the occupational health service or 1177 Vårdguiden (Sweden's national healthcare advice service).
I am not a licensed psychologist. What I do is explain, give words and point onwards.
Tell me about the group
Who will be listening, in what setting and what you want to address. I will come back with a plan and a quote. The first meeting is free of charge.
